106 Essay #1

This assignment requires a dropbox.

Read the following vague and unclear paragraph.  Then rewrite it so that I can picture vividly what you mean.  Change the general statements to something more specific and interesting.

DO NOT WORRY ABOUT ERRORS OR WRITING WEAKNESSES.  I WILL GRADE THIS ONLY ON HOW WELL YOU MADE THE PARAGRAPH SPECIFIC, DETAILED, AND INTERESTING.

When I was in tenth grade I was a very poor student.  Many days I would skip school and sleep in because it was too hot out or because the alarm went off too early.  My sister always did better than I did. My relatives were always on my case. They said I’d never have a decent job and I’d be a loser. My girlfriend broke up with me one night because she’d had enough.  I worried I’d never be rich or successful, so I changed in eleventh grade and did much better.

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